When I Grow Up...

Ever since I was a little girl, I always thought I would figure out what I want to be when I grow up – when I grow up!  Well, here I am at 25, and I still didn’t figure it out.

I dreamed of being an actress, or a supermodel, a singer, or someone famous.  My parents always cut those dreams off and led me to believe that owning your own business, as they do, is the only option for success. 

College Education

And so I went to a great business school in New York and got a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration and Marketing.  There were supposed to be open doors for me, and all I had to do was pick one.  What happened??

Stupid Jobs

I got a telemarketing job.  I hated it.  It’s not me.  I quit.  Then I got a corporate job in the wine and spirits industry (probably with the help of my dad) in customer service.  I was laid off after six months.  I’m assuming they needed me for the busy holiday season. 

Unemployment

I was unemployed for two years.  I’m not complaining, I got a lot of personal things accomplished during that time – first apartment, marriage…. cooking…  But all of the job applications I was sending out were going into thin air.  Never a call or email back, and I was applying to jobs that were an exact match for me as well as those that I was overqualified for!  I didn’t even want half the jobs that I applied for, but I applied to as many as I possibly could.

I finally got an offer at a chiropractic office, for a receptionist position.   On my first training day I was ready to leave after the first 20 minutes.  I didn’t go to college to pick up phone calls and remind patients of their appointments.  More than anything I was confused.  I stayed till the end of my shift, left, and called my Daddy.

Daddy to the rescue, yet again

He just bought a new company, an underwear distributing business, and I knew he needed help.  I was tired of looking for jobs, being questioned by my friends and family about my future, and just feeling helpless.  Of course he gave me a job – unpaid for the first month. 

My job involved everything.  Research, marketing, invoicing, payroll, deposits, customer service, creating catalogues, websites, ebay…

My whole family was in the business.  My mom, dad, younger sister, and my husband.  We worked 12 hour days in a business we were trying to learn.  Another inconvenience was that it was 3 hours away from home.  So we rented a small condo for the family – where we lived Monday through Friday while working.  This went on for almost a year.

I quit!

When we moved the warehouse back to our area, everything changed.  Long story short:  my younger sister got a bigger raise than me.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I felt like I had no family, just a bunch of bosses.

So I quit.

And once again I’m unemployed. 

What to do now?

Every day is a new day, a new opportunity to get a new job.  A new chance to figure out what I actually want to do every day for the rest of my life. 

I love kids, maybe I should be a teacher?  OR, maybe I should teach people how to eat right and exercise! YES, I’ll be a personal trainer!  But I also love Photoshop; I should be an photo editor!  Any big name magazine can hire me and I can make the models look flawless!   NO! Better yet, a wedding photographer!  Weddings also need videographers!  I’m great with video editing on my Mac!  I want to go back to school and learn all about it!  No, wait.. Maybe I should actually write screenplays!  And send them to Hollywood!  If it’s amazing, then it can get my name out there! 

And this is on a weekly basis.  I don’t know how my husband puts up with me!

I’m a creative spirit that was pointed in the wrong direction (for me) at youth.  (No, I’m not blaming the parents; I know they want the best for me). 

I think I finally realized, that there’s no such thing as “growing up.”  There is no point in a person’s life when this happens!  You grow and learn every day.  It’s never to late to learn and start something new.  You learn from your mistakes and become wiser.  You learn more about yourself and what makes you who you are.  Only you can define yourself.   You can be as happy as you allow yourself to be. 

So now I ask myself, what do I want to be?  And I realize I want to do everything! I want variety and I don’t want anyone, especially myself, standing in my way.